By Joshua Hoe
I hear people talk all the time about resenting recovery all the time. They resent the very idea of having to have a program of recovery.
They resent the meetings, they don’t like calling people, and they hate feeling obligated.
But, things are often what you make of them.
I look at my own recovery in an entirely different way.
I love recovery. I am constantly thankful for recovery.
I look at recovery as what enables me to actually enjoy the rest of my life.
It is like the insulin that keeps me from going into my own addictive version of self-destructive shock.
I am lucky that I don’t have diabetes…and I suspect most everyone struggles with something. Nobody is normal, and everyone has some crosses to bear.
But I am a recovering addict, and my medicine is a strong program of recovery.
Changing My Game
Before recovery, I was successful but miserable and often terrible to people.
After recovery, I am rarely miserable and usually very decent to people, even caring.
I have made friends in recovery that I know better than people I knew for decades before recovery.
I learn things in every meeting I go to. Things that help me with my own pitfalls and struggles. Things that keep me on the beam.
And recovery was the first time, maybe in my whole life, where I felt people really understood my problem.
Maybe equally important, recovery – meetings, reading, working the steps, and calling people – create a structure and routine that keep me sober every day and remind me to stay in the 24 hours I am in.
Last but not least, when I falter, or struggle, recovery and my recovery community are a safety net that can help keep me from relapsing or keep me from falling too far when/if I do relapse.
Things are always about how you look at them.
I look at recovery as one of the best and most necessary parts of my life. I have seen the wreckage my life can become without it first hand….And now, because I found it, I can be happy and nice.
And, because of recovery, I can be the best person I can be most every day!
Do you struggle with loving recovery? What are your struggles? How do you keep yourself going back? I would love to hear your comments!
As always, we do not identify ourselves with any particular program or organization and we hold no leadership role in any particular program or organization. We are not therapists and do not pretend to be. The purpose of this blog is to share experience, strength, hope across the recovery community.