by Joshua Hoe
I get so caught up in trying to make stuff perfect, that sometimes I forget that sometimes good is enough.
Worse still, by being obsessed by being perfect, I can start to work against my own best interests.
Making The Perfect An Enemy of Good Enough
Do you make “Perfect” an enemy of the good?
* When working the steps?
When I first stated working my formal first step for presentation to my recovery group, I was treating it like it was the great American novel. Instead of just getting it done and starting to get my story out, I hoarded and edited it to death.
Finally, thanks to astute and timely intervention by my sponsor, I realized that I would have the rest of my whole life to get the story perfect.
Now, I realize that working the steps is a lifelong process. I am currently on my third turn around them (and I work slow). Every year I learn and uncover new things about myself.
IMHO the most important thing is to start the process of getting everything you have been keeping inside yourself out.
* When thinking of calling people
So often, I will tell myself to wait to call people for a billion reasons.
Some of the reasons are related to perfectionism:
He doesn’t want to hear the same struggle again, I will wait until I make some progress or He is just going to think I am an idiot, I need to get better before I start calling.
In these cases, I have 100% made the perfect the enemy of the good.
In retrospect, every time I think about calling someone, the best thing to do is call. When in doubt, I should always make the call.
When people ask me when they can call me, I do set boundaries, but I also tell them that when it is a struggle, err on the side of calling me.
I have gotten calls at three in the morning and been happy, as soon as I woke up, to be able to be of service.
In my experience, everyone I know follows a similar policy. So, the idea that I shouldn’t bother people, or that I should just wait for a perfect time, is obviously more shenanigans designed to get me acting out.
Hope you have a wonderful and sober Tuesday!
Do you find yourself making the perfect the enemy of the good? Can you share any examples from your life? Thanks for reading and please, feel free to comment!