Way too often, people claim that shame, or confrontational interventions, can be a helpful situational tool in incentivizing lasting sobriety. I absolutely cannot speak for everyone else’s experience and do not want to discount anything that has worked for others, but shame never did anything positive for me. Here are three reasons I believe that… Continue reading Three Reasons Shame Doesn’t Manufacture Recovery
Before I found recovery, I was an incredibly cynical person. I disdained participation in every meeting I was forced to attend, what could I possibly learn from someone else that wasn’t a waste of my time? I hated “planned” group activities and the “childish” things that always came with them. I distrusted all displays of emotion and… Continue reading My “2 Way” Faith
My natural inclination is to feel so embarrassed and full of shame whenever I have to say I cannot do something that everyone else (non-addicts) can do as a “normal” part of their day. It is really hard to turn down an invitation to see a movie, for example, that I know will include scenes… Continue reading No Shame In Doing The Right Thing
The so-called “Talking Heads” on television always act surprised and even offended whenever a prominent celebrity relapses. These “addiction commentators” make rehab and recovery sound like an almost magical process that immediately “cures” people. Usually, they conclude with a statement how sad it is that the particular celebrity struggling with addiction can’t “get it together”… Continue reading Recovery Is Not Magic (It’s A Process)
Many of my recovery friends have called my idea of recovery “The Gentle Path” but what does that mean? It means: Relapse is often a part of recovery Recovery is about making progress not about attaining perfection “Harm Reduction” is always better than “Tough Love” or “Punishment” Every day in recovery is better than a day… Continue reading The Gentle Path To Recovery
When I talk about my “program of recovery” I am talking about the tools that I use on a regular basis to remind me that I am in recovery and to make sobriety possible for me. My program of recovery includes (but is not limited to): Keeping my 24-hour token in my wallet so that… Continue reading Recovery: Will I Choose “Clown College” or Continuing Ed?
I spent most of my younger life falling in and out of “love.” I would chase someone for months, charm them, date them, start a relationship, and then…right when everything should have been perfect, I would start to distance myself emotionally from them. Basically, the exact moment they started to search for the “real me”… Continue reading Take Off Your Emotional Boxing Gloves